Free Market Greed explained!

Fred the Shred is the proprietor of a bar in Glasgow. In order to increase sales, he decides to allow his loyal customers – most of whom are unemployed alcoholics – to drink now but pay later. He keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood into Fred the Shreds  bar.

Taking advantage of his customers’ freedom from immediate payment constraints, Fred the Shred increases his prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. His sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Fred the Shred’s borrowing limit.

He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.

At the bank’s corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed.

Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.

One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently of course fired due to his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Fred the Shred’s  bar.

However they cannot pay back the debts.

Fred the Shred cannot fulfill his loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.

DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95%. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80%.

The suppliers of Fred the Shred’s bar, having granted him generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation.

His wine supplier claims bankruptcy, his beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.

The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.

The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.

Do you understand the madness of it all now?

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